Hi readers,
While I'm listening to the instrumental song of 'She Was Pretty', I want to write some of my flashback to my memories in 2014.
2014 was a very hard one for me and also to my big family.
In that year, I broke up with my boyfriend and couple months later I lost my little sister, Imellia.
Lose someone you love forever is absolutely a very very hard condition to overcome. Much much harder than break up with your lover.
I broke up with my boyfriend on April 16, 2014. I should gave up my relationship since we had no other choice back then. We should choose our own parents. It was a quite long story why we should do that. I am a person that easily attach to someone, something I have, that is why I tried to let him go since he chose to let me go first. That was really a heartbreak time to me, really...
After I broke up, I decide to return to Bitung for good, I pack many things in Jakarta and sent it to here (Bitung - where I live now), including my car. I tried to move on by spending much time with my family, especially with my little sister. I thought I had became a bad sister to her, so I wanted to spend much more time to understand her. I slept with her and we chatted along, then we played iPad together, we shared a lot about games, songs, movies, and korean dramas for sure. In May (maybe May 9), we swam at our apartment in Manado. After swimming, she told me that she had short breathing and had the heart beat rapidly. It was the last time we swam together.
In June 9, we decide to bring her to Malaka to check up her heart. The result was coming on the next day. She was diagnosed that she had Pulmonary Hypertension that was caused by the SLE (Systemic Lupus Erithomasus). The pediatric cardiologist told me and my parents that she couldn't reach forty years old, she can't get pregnant (it was very far from I expected). My heart was very hurt to hear that. Truthfully, I prayed deep inside my heart, God please make her reach forty is okay, she still had much time to finish her study, dating someone and even getting married.
The situation that we encountered that day was just like in the tv drama, when someone you love had been diagnosed a terminal illness that cannot be cured forever and even be a deathly one.
I was the first person that doctor told to. I tried not to cry in front of my little sister because I didn't want her to be sad, upset, disappointed and many more. I tried to convince her that it was nothing to worried about, we could maintain her health not to get worse.
In the late of June, we went to Penang to do check up for her to make sure the result we got in Malaka was correct. Then the result was correct.
Before we knew she had this illness, we had enlisted our names and had made down payments to travel to South Korea. My parents and my little sister almost gave up and refused to go to Korea. They told me that my sister couldn't make it. Actually, going to Korea was our big dream (both of us), that was our plan. So, I was sad, upset I wouldn't go with her. I was starting to worried if I couldn't go with her forever. But the good news was coming. I did convinced my parents to go to Korea. Then we went in the late of July till early August.
We had so much fun there. We were really excited back then. After returning to Jakarta, we had to go to Malaka to do check up. The result was really good, we were so happy, I really thanked God for the great news. But after we returned to Jakarta, she still had cough. From Jakarta, she came home in Bitung with my parents. I returned one week later. In that one week, her cough had much worsen. I took her to doctor on Monday, Aug 18. We got some medicine, but it didn't help a lot. I decided to take her to cardiologist to check her heart condition. But unfortunately before I took her, her condition had worsen at the Aug 20 in the morning, her face looked so pale and had blue lip color. I had been much worried then I asked my father to take us to the nearest hospital to get some oxygen support. She had very short breath, so I was sure she really needed much oxygen support. Then we reached the emergency room, she had been better by the nasal support. Since then, she never breathed without any support. She could not breath easily by herself otherwise her saturation would become lower pretty fast.
Back then, we got moved to bigger hospital in Manado by using ambulance. We arrived in the bigger one safely. She had some x-ray, then the result came out couple minutes later, the cardiologist told me that she had some fungus in the lungs, many white spots in the images. I forgot to tell you before. When we arrived at the hospital, we entered the emergency room then the medical team took her directly to the bed then put on some medical devices, like the vital monitor, the nasal mask to her.
I didn't understand how to read the vital monitor until the cardiologist came up then she told me that it was very bad, she had low saturation (the oxygen inside the body is very low), she had short breathing that could lead her to breath failure, I start to forget the medical term.
After spending almost one week in the hospital, she had gone forever, God took her to heaven in the early morning. She had breath failure, it was out of expectation for sure.
We always miss you, Melli.
Till we meet again. Please guide us from up above, our little angel.
Saranghae, bogoshippo...
